| Runaway Prevention |
The tips outlined in this brief guide are designed to help you, as a parent or
caring adult, cope with a troubled youth or one who has run away from home.
caring adult, cope with a troubled youth or one who has run away from home.
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Help is Available
Safe Place programs generally work with youth shelters that provide help for
runaways and youth experiencing crisis situations. Both are resources for
teens and adults. Their staff members are sensitive, responsive, and experienced.
Safe Place is designed to keep youth safe and off the streets. Community Safe
Place sites immediately connect youth in crisis to the shelter. Shelter staff
provide the necessary help for teens and families to work to reunite youth
and their families.
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| Safe Place offers parents... | Safe Place offers teens... |
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Youth shelters that can help you to prevent a runaway episode by discussing
your concerns or warning signs you've identified - and by directing you to the
appropriate services.
A "time-out" or cooling-off period to reduce tensions when a family conflict reaches a boiling point. Local and national resources that can assist you in contacting those that could be of most assistance if you teen leaves home. Family counseling directly or through referrals to other professionals when the child returns home. |
Safe Place sites at businesses, public locations and sometimes mobile units
that display the distinctive yellow and black logo. The staff at these sites
are trained by shelter staff and know how to respond to any youth in crisis.
A Safe Place agencies that can provide temporary shelter for teens who have already left home. Teens are safe and are assisted in resolving the problems that caused them to run. Shelter staff can also help youth get home safely. The National Runaway Switchboard is available if you are not familiar with the youth shelter in you community. Call 1-800-RUNAWAY to be connected with the shelter closest to you. |
Why do youth leave home?
Although no one knows the exact number, estimates indicate that more than a million young
people run away each year in the United States. That means that every day approximately
3,000 youth leave home to escape troubling situations. Because this number includes children
from all socio-economic backgrounds, no family with children is immune to the possibility
of youth leaving home.
While runaways are defined as young person under the age of 18 who are away from home at
least one night without parental permission, they are also children who are responding to
painful or stressful situations at home, at school or with friends. They may be aware that
running from their problems is only a temporary solution, but they are desperately seeking
immediate relief.
Without resources like Safe Place and community youth shelters, children who have run away
are extremely vulnerable to physical violence, sexual exploitation, criminal activity,
suicide, substance abuse and increased sexual activity, often resulting in pregnancy and/or
sexually transmitted diseases.
Warning Signs
It's easy to confuse signs of trouble and normal adolescent turmoil. When real problems are
in the making, the signs should cause concern, but not undue alarm.
- Sleep changes: fatigue, early morning
awakenings, insomnia, increased sleeping.
- Personality changes: abrupt mood swings, excessive
blow-ups triggered by small things, apathy, boredom, irritability, preoccupation
with a single thought.
- Withdrawal from the family: growing isolation,
increased violation of rules, avoidance of family gathering, even at meals.
- School problems: falling grades, truancy,
cutting classes, fight and other disciplinary problems. These can lead to other
high-risk activities such as drug and alcohol use.
- Withdrawal from friends: fallouts with friends,
hostility toward former friends, new (older) friends, and reluctance to introduce
parent to new friends.
- Difficulty coping with family transitions:
prolonged reaction to loss or stress from death, divorce, illness, loss of job,
a move to another city, etc.
- Adults: trust your feelings. Parents often have gut feeling when something is wrong. Trust those feelings and watch for these signs.
Prevention
- The best way to prevent a youth from feeling alone, isolated and insecure is to
spend time with your youth and listen.
- Give you children your full attention when they need to talk. Put down the paper,
turn off the TV and let dinner wait. Make your responsiveness a top priority.
- Take your children seriously. Don't dismiss their worries or fears.
- Model a respectful way of communicating that you would like for your teen to use
with you.
- When discussing touchy issues (dating, driving, curfews) try to remain calm.
- Confront trouble directly, firmly and calmly. Remain firm on central values (such as
no drug use) while bending on less critical issues (hair or clothing). Your teen
will stop confiding in you if you are constantly judging his or her behavior.
- Permit expressions of ideas even if they are different from your own.
- Try not to take your teen's mood swings too personally.
- If you are worried about something you think or feel may be going on with your youth,
talk with teachers and parents of their friends. They may have helpful observations
and insights.
- If you tell your teen that he or she can talk to you about anything, then mean it. Help from outside sources and counseling professionals can help you become more comfortable talking to you teen about sensitive subjects such as sexuality.
If Your Child is Missing...
- Think clearly: Where might your child be? With
a friend, relative, or divorced parent?
- Record: keep a record of everyone you contact.
Write down your own thoughts and feeling just to clear you head.
- Look for clues: Check his or her room for
signs of preparation. Ask friends, teachers, and coaches for ideas. Check neighborhood
hangouts. Know who your children's friends are and keep a list of their names,
address and phone numbers.
- Take action: File a missing person's report
with local police and ask them to put information into the NCIC (National Crime
Information Center) computer. It is important to have an up-to-date photograph of
your child to provide the police, Contact your local youth shelter; they can help
connect you with other reputable services in your area and can assist you in
thinking through your plan of action.
- Remain calm: If your child calls, show love and
concern. If he or she is not ready to return home, give him or her the number of the
local runaway center if you know it and the toll-free National Runaway Switchboard
at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Either agency can help reunite you
with you child. Suggest that they go to a Safe Place site if the program is
available.
- When your child returns: Running is a child's cry for help. Unresolved family conflicts can lead to future running. It is a good idea to seek family counseling to solve the problems that led to your child running away. Prevent future runaway episodes by getting help now.
We Care About You, and We Can Help
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
- You can ask for help for a friend.
- Look for a trusted adult to talk to: teacher, guidance counselor, family member,
neighbor, family friend, minister/clergy, etc.
- You can call a local youth shelter or the National Runaway Switchboard at
1-800-RUNAWAY for help without using your name.
- The staff at any local Safe Place program are willing to listen.
- Your concern is not too big or too little for a Safe Place agency to help.
- Be honest about your needs.
- The first time we experience most events, we react strongly. As we think it through
or the event occurs again, our reactions change. Writing out your feelings can help.
- Admit your own mistakes. Attack the problem and not the person. Calm down before
you react. Think before you speak. And, look for understanding without being
defensive.
- If you do not have a safe place to be, you have a right to a Safe Place.
- Using tobacco, alcohol and other drugs can have a negative effect on your life; the
majority of youth have chosen not to get involved with drugs or alcohol.
- Remember, a crisis is temporary and will pass with time. Dealing with it in the right way is most important.
Communication is a Family Activity
Communication is the process of giving and receiving information. It sounds simple, but
experience tells a different story. There are things that act as barriers to effective
communication. These barriers include:
LANGUAGE
- varied meaning of words
PERCEPTIONS of those involved
DISTRACTIONS of the surrounding environment
HUMAN LISTENING capacity
Add to these the rapid changes children are going through as they grow and mature and you
will begin to understand why communication is tougher than it first appears.
Though family life is not easy, good communication skills can make for a healthier
household. Remember that communication is a process none of us has perfected, so as you
interact, keep in mind the following principles:
1) Effective communication is a learned skill. How do you and your family
communicate best?
2) What is the specific issue being discussed? Effective communication involves
sending a message and listening to a message, speaking and listening.
3) Communication is hard work. To be effective you have to remain an active
participant. Say what you mean. Do not assume anything. Clarify. Negotiate. Summarize
what is said and praise when possible.
PERCEPTIONS of those involved
DISTRACTIONS of the surrounding environment
HUMAN LISTENING capacity
For more information or to learn how to establish a Safe Place program in
your community, contact the National Safe Place office at 888-290-7233.
your community, contact the National Safe Place office at 888-290-7233.
